If you’ve just been broken up with, you may be wondering what happened. When a man breaks up with his partner, there could be any number of reasons for the split. Something about your behavior could be reason or it could be something completely out of your control. Here are some common reasons he may have broken up with you.
1. He felt pressured
Did you push really hard for the relationship? Most men do not like to feel pressured into a serious relationship when they’re not ready. If you continued to rally for a relationship and push for commitment even after sensing some hesitance, you may be partly responsible for the breakup. Life coach Christine Hassler says putting pressure on a man can cause him to feel confused about the relationship. Hassler said:
This is not an uncommon thing I hear from men. All of a sudden, their [partners] declare that the relationship hits some kind of marker and a proposal should be happening. The guy then begins to feel all kinds of pressure, guilt and confusion … please for his sake and yours stop pressuring your guy. And I do not just mean about marriage, stop pressuring him to do anything. Not only does it not work to your advantage in the long run – it’s also not loving.
2. He didn’t feel respected
Men need to feel respected almost as much or even more than feeling loved. If you often approach him disrespectfully, this will make him feel not only angry but also less valued. Author and relationship expert Dr. Emerson Eggerichs said both men and women need respect and love, but men react differently when they do not feel respected. Eggerichs proposes that a lack of love and respect in a relationship is the root cause for many breakups. “Without love from him, she reacts without respect; without respect from her, he reacts without love,” said Eggerichs. “We asked 7,000 people this question: when you are in a conflict with your spouse or significant other, do you feel unloved or disrespected? 83% of the men said ‘disrespected’ and 72% of the women said, ‘unloved.’ Though we all need love and respect equally, the felt need differs during conflict.”
3. You’re not compatible
Incompatibility will result in plenty of arguments. If there is no peace in your relationship, it will eventually lead to relationship breakdown. Wildly different lifestyles, mismatched values, and different ways of managing money can ruin your relationship. Compatibility is key to helping a union thrive. But don’t worry if you and your partner don’t match up exactly. It isn’t necessary to be compatible in every aspect of your lives. Dr. Elliot D. Cohen said compatibility exists on a spectrum. “Compatibility is not all-or-nothing; rather, it admits of degreeson a continuum from incompatible to highly compatible. Thus you can be more or less compatible with your mate. So, the question addressed here is not merely whether you are compatible but instead how compatible,” said Cohen.
4. The right person came along
If you and your partner got together very soon after he broke up with someone else, this was more than likely a rebound relationship. Unfortunately, you may have been doomed from the start. Relationship expert Evan Marc Katz says even though many rebounds don’t work out, sometimes they do. Katz said:
There are lots of people – men and women alike – who are eager to find love again directly after their painful breakup. They think they’re over it. They want to be ready. They dive into a new relationship. And then, when it comes time to step things up, they bail because they weren’t really ready to be committed for life. Not yet. These are not bad people; they are driven by their emotions and are doing the best they can. Is it generally a risky bet to date someone on the rebound? Sure. But do people on the rebound fall in love every day? You betcha.